Desperate Wife

A wife emails tech support for marriage counseling. An interesting conversation takes place.

Dear Tech Support,


Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting modules, limiting access to flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9 but installed undesirable programs such as PBA 5.0, NBA 3.0 and Playstation 7.2. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.


Signed:
Desperate Wife

- - - - -Reply Separator- - - - -

Dear Desperate Wife,


Keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command: C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Guilty 3.0 and Flowers 7.0. But remember, overuse can cause damage, with Husband 1.0 defaulting to GrumpySilence 2.5, Happyhour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create "Snoring Loudly" wave files. Be especially cautious about the "HotChik virus" programmed to corrupt Husband 1.0 utterly (as well as all future Husband upgrades). DO NOT install MotherInLaw 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. Consider buying additional software to improve performance. I personally recommend HotFood 3.0, Lingerie 5.3 and Keep-a-nice-body 10.1.


Good Luck,
Tech Support

In some hilarious way, it addresses the issues most newly weds have. Am not planning to get married anytime soon, but this one gives me an insight of prolly what'll be like.

How to Break off Without Hurting

Rejection always hurts. No matter how much you sugar coat the truth, it always upsets the two souls who used to be in love. It is definitely better to end relationships amicably instead of fretting and fuming and making it even more difficult to go apart. No doubt it will be extremely painful and difficult to let go. But,if you are where you think your relation is not going the right way and you are thinking how to break off without hurting, you have come to the right place. Read on tips for breaking off without hurting yourself and the other person.

Breaking Up Without Hurting

• Make it Personal - NEVER break the news through a phone call, e-mail, or text message. It becomes even more rude and very impersonal and tells the other person that you don't really care. Sit and talk to each other face-to-face and sort things out amicably.
• Choose the Right Location – Deciding on the correct location is very important to ward off any uncomfortable feelings and any inconveniences. If possible decide on a neutral location like a café or if this is not possible, do it at the other person’s house. This is because if you do it at your place, it will be like asking him to leave your place after the formalities are over. Breaking off at his place will be easier as it will be you who is physically leaving.
• Be Honest - Being sincere and open about your feelings and talking about why you feel it is not going to work out is the best way to end a relation. Instead of going back in time and arguing what went wrong with the other person, it better you say what you feel. Don't hide your feelings and be honest about why you are feeling uncomfortable in the relationship.
• Specify Reasons - Give a strong reason to support your break up. It is not wise to keep the other person wondering as to what went wrong. No one wants to think that they were just used as a time pass. Remember, what goes around, comes back. Someday you could be in the same position.
• Control your Temper - This applies not only to the person who is giving the news of break up, but also the person at the receiving end. There is no need to get worked up and get angry at each other. Calling names and screaming does not help, it only makes things worse. It is okay to get upset and cry if you are feeling miserable. But creating a scene and making a further mess of a delicate situation does not help.

Being Friends with your Ex

        Saying good-bye to someone with whom you spent some treasured and intimate moments can be very difficult. It is tough moving on after the break up and you have just one question on mind. Is it worth being friends with your ex? You want to move on yet cling to your past. Being friends with your ex might seem like a great idea but it does not always work out that way. Even if you do see past your personal differences and mutually decide to come to a single point as friends, you have to carefully set the parameters and draw the lines so that you don’t hurt each other later in any way. Only when both of you are completely sure that you can move ahead forgetting about past differences and grievances, you can think about being friends with your ex. But for this you have to erase the previous memories of broken promises that you two had made to each other when you were together. Read on further to know ‘can ex lovers be friends’?

Should You Be Friends with Your Ex


Green Eyed Monster
You may deny it as much as you want to, but you will feel miserably jealous when your ex (now friend) goes out on a date and has a wonderful time. It is human nature to feel so, it not wrong. Why make yourself and the other person feel miserable by feeling jealous and sending wrong vibes and wishing you never remained friends.


Passion is Still There
No matter how much you claim that you are friends, every time you see him/her, your heart still misses a beat. You have had some intimate moments together and every time you see your ex, you seem to relive those memories and silently enjoy. Yet another reason why it is not advisable to be friends with your ex.


Confiding is Tough
Friends share anything and everything with each other. But when that friend happens to be an ex, it becomes very difficult to confide in personal details. For instance, you have a big date coming up and you are wondering what you should be wearing in order to look stunning. You wouldn't go around asking your date whether you look good in the short black dress or the backless red one!


Comfort Zone
You have had a bad day at work, or maybe a fight with someone. You want to sit and talk to your friend about it. You feel the need to be pampered and hugged. Surely, your ex isn't the right person for it. For all that you know, you might be back to square one. The comfort level that you share with a friend and your ex can never be the same.

How to Know if She Loves You?

        It is not an easy job to know whether a woman likes you. Women are by nature, nurturers. It is natural for them to lavish affection and care. So if a woman you like pampers you like a baby, don't take it for granted that she is in love with you. However, if she goes out of her way to make you feel special, then there may be chances that she really likes you. A woman gives strong yet subtle signs that she loves you. Read on further for ways to find if a girl likes you. You will find a definite answer to the question of how to know if she loves you.

Ways To Tell A Girl Likes You

• Whenever you compliment her, her cheeks turn pink. If she blushes when you are around, it means she is smitten by you.
• She shows public display of affection. Women are not always comfortable with showing affection in public. But if she runs her fingers through your locks, or strokes your cheek, take notice.
• The way she looks at you with those dreamy eyes, is a dead give away that she likes you.
• Check out her body language when you sit with her. If she sits with cross legs facing you, it means she is interested in you. Also, if she touches your shoulders or rests her palm on yours, it is a sign that she likes you.
• When going out with you, she takes extra care to look good. She adds sensuality to her whole outfit combined with simplicity and elegance.
• The way she smiles and laughs at your jokes is a sign that she likes you.
• She pays extra attention to you and takes interest in the activities you do, it means she definitely has a soft corner for you.
• While talking to her friends and family, if she brags about you, know for sure that you are definitely someone special for her.
• If she talks to you for long hours and avoids calls from her friends during the time of conversation, know for sure that you are being given more importance than others, which is a direct road to being loved.
• If she always encourages you to go forward with your plans and chips in good advice for you to move ahead in personal and professional life, she is definitely an ideal lover.
• If she wants to spend some extra time with you and help you in all ways possible, it means she is in love with you.
• The willingness to sacrifice is a clear cut answer to know if she loves you or not. She would go that extra mile to make you happy, even if that means sacrificing her hobby.
• Although the feeling of jealousy is not good, sometimes healthy jealousy gives hint that the other person is afraid of losing you and has feelings for you.
• Worrying about your safety and whereabouts is one thing through which women often show their love and care. If your girl feels in the same way, know for sure you are her special one.
• During a conversation with you, if she blinks her eye, know that the girl in question is trying to give you hints.

By now you should be sure as to what are the signs to watch out for if a girl truly likes you. More than anything else, it is important to respect her emotions than play with them. So if the woman you like is showing these signs, don't be hesitant to go and speak out your mind to her. Who knows you may be in for a pleasant surprise!!

How to Know if He Loves You?

    So, you have known this guy for quite some time now. You love being with him and never feel lonely when he is around. Your face breaks into a smile at the very mention of his name. The first person you think of when you get up in the morning is him. But does he feel the same way about you too? Guys are finicky when it comes to admitting that they like a girl. And more often than not, they end up losing the girl just because it is too late to tell her that he is in love. Just to make it easy for both you and him, we bring you sure shot signs that he loves you. Read on about ways to find if a guy likes you and how to know if he loves you.

Ways To Tell A Guy Likes You

• He takes interest in your day-to-day life. He asks how your day was and feels concerned if anything is wrong.
• His behavior suddenly changes when you come around. He suddenly mellows down and becomes a bit quieter while chatting with his friends. Dead give away!
• He remembers almost every small thing that you say. It shows how special you are.
• He calls up just to listen to your voice and gives a silly reason when you ask as to why he called.
• He insists on meeting up every now and then and admits how much he loves being around you.
• He is good with everyone, but with you he goes that extra mile to ensure comfort.
• His body language changes when you are there. He displays affection through subtle hints like stroking your cheek slightly, taking your hand in his palms and being less stiff.
• He tries to be overtly friendly with you and takes that extra step to know more about you, your family and your friends.
• When he praises only about you to his friends and family, it means he has got special feelings for you.
• Friends are a total give away. If his friends treat you in a special way or say something about the two of you being couples, you know he is in love.   
• He looks in your eyes and you feel there is something special about it. He has this shine when he is looking at you.
• He keeps looking at you when you are around and shy’s away when you look at him directly.

These are some sure signs that tell a guy really likes you. But do not confront him as soon as you find these signs in him. Give him some time to realize that he loves you. On the other hand, you can show him in your own ways that you like him too. You will know the right time to confide, you just do!

Are You in Love?

When we're together or when we're apart, you're first in my thoughts and first in my heart.

        

        

        Your heart beats fast when you think of him/her. You smile at the very mention of his/her name. You yearn to spend every special moment of your life with him/her. Suddenly a question that is worth pondering upon crops up. Are you in love? There is every possible chance that you are. Some of the sure shot signs that shows you are in love are when somehow, in every conversation you have with your friends, you seem to keep mentioning his/her name in it. You look forward to spending time with him/her and enjoy the most when he/she is around.

        You want to spend the rest of your life with him/her and are ready to adjust to make both of you happy. You love him/her for what he/she is and wouldn't want to change him/her for anything in the world. You start feeling that no other person in the world is as beautiful or handsome as him/her. In case you have become overtly concerned about your looks and appearance, know for sure you are in love. When in love loyalty holds more importance than ever in life. You want to be loyal to your beloved and expect the same from him/her. If all of this happens to you, you are definitely in love. Check out our related sections that deal with the issue of being in love, separately for men and women.

How to Know if He Loves You
    So, you have known this guy for quite some time now. You love being with him and never feel lonely when he is around. Your face breaks into a smile at the very mention of his name. The first person you think of when you get up in the morning is him. But does he feel the same way about you too? Guys are finicky when it comes to admitting that they like a girl.

How to Know if She Loves You
    It is not an easy job to know whether a woman likes you. Women are by nature, nurturers. It is natural for them to lavish affection and care. So if a woman you like pampers you like a baby, don't take it for granted that she is in love with you. However, if she goes out of her way to make you feel special, then there may be chances that she really likes you. A woman gives strong yet subtle signs that she loves you.

Pisces Characteristics and Pisces Personality ( Feb 19 - Mar 20 )

        At first glance, you may find yourself fascinated with a Piscesian. Piscesians are usually gentle and have a softness about them, essentially living in a world of dreams and romance. Along with their sensitive and mysterious qualities, their psychic intuition usually leads them through life.

        Piscesians have a tendency to fall in love easily and can have several love affairs until finding the right match. To stay in a continuous relationship, they need to have their emotional needs met, along with a feeling of security. Adaptable to almost any situation and all sorts of people, you may find a person a Piscesian to be a real charmer.

To win points with a Pisces, compliment them on their appearance, or flatter them regarding something they have done. Additionally, if you're the sentimental type, you will be on your way into a fulfilling relationship. If you're thoughtful, kind, and affectionate, in return, you may find yourself richly awarded with devotion. However, if you constantly criticize or have a tendency to be unfaithful with your devotion, you may want to keep looking. Piscesians will find this behavior intolerable and definitely unacceptable. A Piscesian will do almost anything for someone they care about. Once they commit to a person, they will give all their time, effort, and energy to them.

        Their interests fall in the arts and in stimulating conversation. These often artistically talented individuals love topics on mysticism, spiritualism and the supernatural. Piscesians love to expound and explain their point of view, however, if you don't agree, be gentle. This sensitive zodiac sign, doesn't appreciate rejection or someone that takes a completely negative approach to life. They are also great listeners and their sympathy is mostly genuine.

          Once they have found a stable, passionate, and tender partner, they will relinquish their uttermost passion and devotion to them exclusively.

Piscesians won't even mind if the person makes most of the decisions that are to be made. As an attentive, compassionate and romantic lover, hey will surely fulfill your spiritual and physical needs. Once content in emotional security, this vulnerable sign of the zodiac, will look no further.